hushnow-quietnow:

• spiritus-incongruentia has arrived at the cottage.

The yellow pegasus looked up at the taller draconequus, giving a bright, cheerful smile. When at one point Fluttershy would be terrified of the god of chaos, she was now happy to see him. 

“Oh, hello Discord.” Fluttershy greeted. Angel furrowed her brow and made sure to hide behind the couch for now, though Fluttershy hadn’t noticed. “What brings you here? How have things been going in Canterlot?” she asked, taking the chance to prep some tea for the pair.

A smile couldn’t help but find its way onto Discord’s snout as he regarded the pegasus before him. A legitimately friendly smile, as opposed to the mischievous grin or patronizing smirk that he usually wore. “Hello, Fluttershy!” he greeted his only true friend, before extending one arm and reaching behind her couch in order to pat Angel on the head. “And you too, Bunny!”

Taking note of the tea she was getting ready for the two of them, the deity chuckled to himself - it seemed so odd, one of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, making tea for the spirit of chaos. “What, a draconequus can’t come over to see his friend without having a reason? Ah, things in Canterlot have been going… decently, I suppose, although it’s a little tiring, what with Celestia keeping my nose to the grindstone all the time. Now I think I know how Twilight used to feel! And what about you? How are things here in Ponyville? Harmonious, I trust?” It was the longest Discord had gone without doing anything chaotic.

Deep in the bowels of outer space, the Starship Disharmony, engines humming, traveled slowly. It looked like what would result if you twisted together several large inner tubes, covered that in cannons, spikes, and gargoyles, painted it white, and covered it in sprinkles. Inside, the chimeric captain of the ship sat in his seat of command, and cleared his throat.

“Captain’s Log,” came his sultry tones, “Stardate… whatever it is, I can’t remember. Nothing exciting happened today, except for an encounter with another starship. Its commander was a being known as a ‘hue-mann,’ going by the name of ‘Jean Luck Pickard.’ I boarded the ship in order to find out more about its crew, giving myself a hue-mann form and calling myself ‘Q’ so as to sound mysterious. What I found out is that they’re all frightfully boring, and I left them alone after awhile. My superiors say that I’m not very good at being a starship captain - I say they’re a bunch of stuffed shirts. Captain Discord, out.”

His log completed, Discord stretched, materialized a glass of orange juice in his hand, and snapped his fingers at the amarinthine mare who was his second-in-command.

“Commander Sparkle?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Take us away from here. Destination, wherever is not here. Warp factor π, on the double.”

“Warp factor π? But sir, that’s not scientifically possible…”

“Ah, ah, ah, Commander Sparkle! Who’s the captain of this ship?”

“You are, sir.”

“That’s right! And I say, warp factor π.”

“I’ll try my best, sir.”

The order given, the captain of the Starship Disharmony chuckled to himself. He loved his job.

Discord, complete with a rainbow-striped lab coat, stood behind a large mahogany desk, a large textbook open in front of him. Celestia had suggested he take up a job at Canterlot Collegiate Institute several days ago - the draconequus would have protested, but Fluttershy had avidly supported the idea, so he felt he had to. Now, the newly-hired physics teacher eyed the teenage ponies filing into his class with a quirked brow. How he disliked them.

“Good day, students!” he exclaimed, once the last colt had taken his seat. “My name is Professor Discord, and I’ll be your physics teacher this year.” A single second after he uttered the last word, the avatar of disharmony began to levitate, higher and higher, until he was floating a good five feet above his desk. He heard gasps and whispers from the students, and smirked. “Yes, ironic, isn’t it? Now, turn your textbooks to page 77, and we’ll study the First Law of Motion…”

“Well, isn’t this just fantastic,” Discord sighed, rattling the shackle that had found itself on his neck. His writer had agreed to have him be commanded by the Queen of the Changelings for an entire week, a fact that the god was incredibly unhappy about. He had been given a few hours to prepare himself for the week of servitude, most of which had been spent sulking and listening to polka records.

Suddenly, an hourglass appeared from nowhere, bringing with it a deafening ring. This signified that his time was up. “Well,” the chimera said to himself, reluctantly rising to his mismatched feet, “I suppose there’s no escaping it.” And with a snap of eagle digits, he appeared in the hive of Queen Chrysalis, in full butler attire. “Greetings to you, Queen Cockroach!” he exclaimed, sweeping into a theatrically low bow. “My name is Discord, and I will be your server for the next week. How may I do your bidding today, ma’am?” The omnipotent beast was laying it on thick, very thick, so that it was clear to all that his heart was far from being in this.

“Wh - no! No, please!” For once in his long life, the draconequus actually felt fear. Be commanded by the Queen of the Changelings for a whole week? He would rather be imprisoned in stone again! The sarcasm usually present in his voice had disappeared, replaced with true apprehension at the concept of servitude. “Writer, please! You can’t let her do this!

Sorry, Discord, the writer smirks, nodding approvingly at Chysalis, them’s the breaks. 

- POOF! -

“Wonderful,” growled the deity, now with a shackle around his long neck, “just wonderful.” Shooting glares at both the Changeling and his writer, he simply awaited his fate, having no other choice.

sugarysweet-ponies:

Kallisti II Stream Request 7 by *Lanmana

grandmastermercofponyville:

spiritus-incongruentia:

Now how had Discord ended up here? Exactly like Ponyville, but much more grim and serious. The draconequus was not the biggest fan of either of those aspects, and was deciding whether or not he should colour everything rainbow when a familiar pink figure approached him.

“Hm? Oh, hello Pi -” he began, but halted when he turned to actually look at her. This was most definitely the party pony (in this case, party human,) but… different. Same pink hair (though straighter than that of her pony equivalent,) same blue eyes (though there was a menacing and authoritarian look to them, beneath the usual cheeriness,) and same bubbly personality (though it was mixed with something very threatening.) It was all incredibly interesting, in the chimera’s opinion.

“Well, hello there!” he began again. “Are they really? I suppose it’s only natural, when the newcomer in question is like me. My name is Discord. Yours wouldn’t happen to be Pinkie, by any chance, would it?” With a grin on his face, Discord pulled a chocolate out of his beard and ate it. He then pulled another out of his ear, and ate that one too.

She listened to the creature introduce himself, her eyebrows raising upon seeing her visitor pull chocolate out of such strange places.  It also caused the corners of her mouth to raise even more.  So, this thing could use magic, then.  There was more to him than what she saw- although what that was remained to be seen.

Pinkie gave a nod when he asked the question.  People knowing her by name was nothing new to her, though, so she was hardly surprised.  ”Uh-huh!  I didn’t think you’d heard of me.  Lots of other people have heard of us, so it’s not usually a surprise.  Although,” she puts a finger to her chin, her smile becoming more sly, “I don’t think you know me for the same reasons others do, do you, Discord?”  It was obvious he hadn’t come from around here, so he probably hadn’t heard of P.A.R.T.Y.  He must’ve had some other way.

“I certainly don’t. As you can probably tell, I’m not from around here. Where I’m from, there’s a Pinkie Pie as well - although a) she’s a pony, and b) she’s much less threatening than you are.” Materializing a pink umbrella into his claw (which opened backwards,) he removed the bowl-shaped top portion and offered it to Pinkie - it was full of chocolates that had not been there five seconds earlier.

“I couldn’t help but notice,” he continued, with an arched brow, “that you said ‘us’ and not ‘me.’ Who is ‘us,’ exactly? Do you belong to some sort of organization?”

the-twilight-sparkle:

spiritus-incongruentia:

“Where is my house… at?” the chimera echoed with a smile, before chuckling in amusement. “Well, well, I wouldn’t have expected Little Miss Literate to end a sentence with a preposition! Isn’t that against some unwritten rule for bookworms like yourself? Not that I’m complaining, I adore people acting out of character…” With a flick, his tail reverted to its usual state.

“No spell, eh?” Then she’s being sincere, he mused, but why this change of heart? Again, I’m not complaining… “Huh. Well, if you want to pay a visit, you’re going to have to close your eyes first. Top secret, you know.” With a flourish, Discord produced a rainbow-coloured bandanna and tied it around the pony’s curious optics.

“Well, ya know.  I can act a bit different around good friends and old pals, right?”  Then she closed her eyes for Discord.  “Alright.. I hope you don’t take advantage of me while I’m unable to see what you’re doing to me~!”  She sounded happy to go along, weirdly enough.

“Right…” Discord had absolutely no idea what the mare was talking about at this point. Take advantage of her? “Anyway.” A snap of lion digits, and both the draconequus and the blindfolded Twilight found themselves in front of Discord’s house. It resembled a miniature Cloudsdale, except in keeping with the chaotic deity’s traditional methods, the clouds were cotton candy and the rainbows that cascaded from the pegasus city were instead chocolate milk.

“And voila!” announced the creature, whisking the covering off of the pony’s eyes. “Home sweet home. And mi casa es tu casa, if you’re still willing to be my apprentice.” Teleporting over to the door, he opened it with a bow and showed Twilight Sparkle inside.